Upon reading this recent opinion-ed in the New York Times, I could not help but think about how the concept of decision-making based on intuition versus decision making based on reason plays out in psychotherapy. It is not uncommon for an individual to make decisions in their lives that simply "feel right" to them. However, when it becomes reasonably clear that the decisions that feel "so right" continually lead to less than desirable consequences, it may be time to reconsider the reasons behind these intuitive feelings. It is important to consider that while something that may feel like a "gut feeling", may simply be our habitual ways of acting that are based on simple conditioning, modeling or even familiarity.
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/10/07/reasons-matter-when-intuitions-dont-object/?src=me&ref=general
Let's say, for argument's sake, that you find yourself always taking care of your significant other, to your own detriment. There may be many reasons why you may find yourself in this situation. Perhaps you have spent your childhood being solely recognized for taking care of others in your family, and on some level feel that this is the most valuable aspect of yourself. Or maybe you simply watched your mother taking care of everybody and felt that this was the only way to be in a real relationship. Or perhaps you have a particularly strong desire to be needed, and hence you unconsciously choose the kinds of people that will always need you to take care of them and hence will never abandon you.
No matter what the reason is for one's thoughts, feelings, beliefs or behaviors, it is often important to evaluate one's patterns in order to examine what is really behind the decision-making process, and whether the reasons behind our actions make rational or intuitive sense, or both. It is then vital to ask yourself if you like the patterns that you are enacting, and if not, to see if there is something that you can do to change them. Psychotherapy is a unique place where one can safely examine one's assumptions and have the opportunity to experiment with different ways of being and relating to the world.
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/10/07/reasons-matter-when-intuitions-dont-object/?src=me&ref=general
Let's say, for argument's sake, that you find yourself always taking care of your significant other, to your own detriment. There may be many reasons why you may find yourself in this situation. Perhaps you have spent your childhood being solely recognized for taking care of others in your family, and on some level feel that this is the most valuable aspect of yourself. Or maybe you simply watched your mother taking care of everybody and felt that this was the only way to be in a real relationship. Or perhaps you have a particularly strong desire to be needed, and hence you unconsciously choose the kinds of people that will always need you to take care of them and hence will never abandon you.
No matter what the reason is for one's thoughts, feelings, beliefs or behaviors, it is often important to evaluate one's patterns in order to examine what is really behind the decision-making process, and whether the reasons behind our actions make rational or intuitive sense, or both. It is then vital to ask yourself if you like the patterns that you are enacting, and if not, to see if there is something that you can do to change them. Psychotherapy is a unique place where one can safely examine one's assumptions and have the opportunity to experiment with different ways of being and relating to the world.
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