Inessa Manevich,Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist
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On Being Social

2/20/2013

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While human being are certainly social creatures who tend to rely heavily on each other for many things, not everyone is born with the ability to effectively express their thoughts and feelings, let alone have the ability to correctly decipher the verbal and nonverbal cues of others. In fact, a fair number of people find it quite draining and difficult to be with others.

There are many different reasons why one may have a difficult time socially, including one's temperament, culture, upbringing, and environment. Sure, some people are simply shy and truly enjoy spending time alone, or with a select few. Others, however, may be truly unable to see the world from the perspective of others, and find it difficult, if not impossible to relate to other's points of view. These may be the very same people who tend to think in a largely logical manner, and find it very difficult to relate to those who think (or feel) on a largely emotional level. 

Furthermore, social anxiety may play a big role in the avoidance of social situations. Those who have social anxiety often fear the possibility of somehow being judged negatively by others. These folks often shy away from any situations which may open them up to judgment, foreclosing on any possibility of positive social interactions. Additionally, those who may have been deeply hurt by others in the past may simply choose to avoid any close social contacts in order to avoid repeated injury. 

Clearly there are a number of reasons why people may find socializing with others to be problematic. Depending on the reason for the social deficit, however, some social skills can be explained, taught and practiced. For some people, behavioral interventions and practicing the give and take of social discourse, both individually and in a group setting, can be very helpful. For others, working through their past experiences by understanding and accepting themselves and their emotions may help free them up to have less guarded and more fulfilling interactions with others.

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Self-Care While Caring for Others

2/4/2013

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Caring for an elderly relative is complicated.  Sure, the daily routine of caring for the physical and emotional needs of an aging relative may make one feel needed, loving, and kind, but the strain of watching the-often-unpleasant manifestation of aging may force us to confront the very issues we spend our whole lives avoiding. No matter how many warm and perhaps altruistic feelings one can experience in the process of caring for one's aging loved one, the feelings of helplessness, frustration and even despair are often not far behind.

While many people who care for an aging loved one, particularly in their own home, struggle with feelings of depression, existential melancholia and sadness, only very few of these folks seek physical and emotional help from others. Some may not seek outside help in order to avoid perceived criticism by self and others, perhaps believing that silent suffering signals a good, pure and selfless existence. Others, are simply culturally sanctioned to not ask for outside help. Yet there are those among us who bravely acknowledge and face the many different feelings and tribulations that the care of an aging relative may bring up, while managing to celebrate life, love, and humor in even this final stage of life.

Below, is a wonderfully inspiring story of how one grandson and grandmother team face the varied machinations of life together, and with humor!

http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/01/caregiving-laced-with-humor/?ref=health
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    Dr. Inessa Manevich

    *Information in this blog is for educational purposes only and should NOT be used as a substitute for professional therapy*

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