* Learn, Practice and Implement Valuable Social Skills.

* Form Enjoyable Lasting Relationships with Your Peers.

* Get Professional and Peer Support for      Overcoming your Anxiety and Enjoying Social Activities.

Members:                 Teens and young adults with Social Anxiety

Fee:                            $70.00 per one hour groups session 
                                   * (services may be reimbursable by your insurance)

Where:                      Groups offered weekly, at two convenient office locations.

If interested in joining or learning more about this group, please contact Dr. Inessa Manevich at 310.804.6339 or at [email protected] to set up an initial assessment ,

While I wrote this blog post a few years ago when working for a wonderful practice specializing in working with individuals on the autism spectrum, Alternative Choices, posting it here may be beneficial to consider as we prepare for the holiday season.

As we start checking off items on the ‘holiday wish lists’ for those around us, why not take a moment and think about what we ourselves want and expect from those we love during the holiday season.

In theory, the holidays are supposed to be about spending time with those we love. Yet for many, this time is riddled with unspoken resentments, and past and present disappointments. While most of us focus on anticipating and avoiding touchy subjects with our families in order to survive the holidays, few of us stop and think about what it is that we actually want and perhaps need, from those we love during these times. Whether it is approval, affection, acceptance or nurturing, we all have certain expectations from those we love during the holidays.

Perhaps being aware of our expectations may lead to realistically matching them to what our loved ones can actually provide. Or it may be that a conscious awareness of our dependency needs can lead us to be more direct in seeking to have those needs met by others. Or it may simply mean that during the holiday season, when we celebrate love, nurturing and kindness to others, we may need to take extra time to accept, nurture and be kind to ourselves.

I have recently read a fascinating New York Times article about Ikaria, a Greek island where the average life expectancy far exceeded the American national average.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/28/magazine/the-island-where-people-forget-to-die.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&smid=fb-share&adxnnlx=1351793092-1dQapf8DUkfjxVdRL3vT%20A

While the study conducted in order to pinpoint the exact factors contributing to this population's longevity did not uncover definitive answers, there are a number of lifestyle factors that seem to be contributing to this populations long, and seemingly healthy lives. In particular, the residents of Ikaria report often waking when they please and taking regular naps. Additionally, the average Ikarian diet consists of home-grown and untreated fruits, vegetables and an occasional meat, usually for a celebratory occasion. Furthermore, given the islands hilly topography, along with the daily farm work, the average citizens gets a fair amount of lifestyle exercise, all under the pure sea air and natural sun.

The lifestyle factors mentioned above may not be shocking, as most of us know that sufficient rest, a healthy diet, and ample exercise contribute to better health. What is intriguing and perhaps surprising, is the nature and quality of the island's social structure. The Ikarian society appears to be quite collective and collaborative, where citizens seems to take responsibility for their work, their family and their friends. Furthermore, life does not appear to decline as people age, but continues with the same social vigor or youth, with frequent social events and vivacious celebrations. It is not uncommon, for instance, for neighbors to just drop in unannounced and sit for hours simply enjoying each other's company, and perhaps a cup of tea with honey. There appears to be less opportunity for loneliness and perhaps melancholia in Ikaria, as these folks appear to physically, emotionally and spiritually support each other in ways that our individualized society often does not.

Furthermore, the concept of time on this island appears to be interpreted quite differently from the hurried nature of the steadfast American deadlines. People may wake up whenever they please in Ikaria, but they often work into the night, make their own, varied schedules, only to come home and socialize with friends and family. Their days are filled with various work activities, time spent outside and with friends, and lives do not seem to follow a monotonous, predictable schedule, even well into the nineties.

There are numerous lessons we can learn from our Ikarian counterparts. Particularly, the importance of on-going self-care for the whole person, not just parts of ourselves that we think are "productive" and/or on the exterior.  Making the time to care for our physical, social, spiritual and mental states, may not seem productive in the moment, but may add health, joy and years to our lives.