While I wrote this blog post a few years ago when working for a wonderful practice specializing in working with individuals on the autism spectrum, Alternative Choices, posting it here may be beneficial to consider as we prepare for the holiday season.
As we start checking off items on the ‘holiday wish lists’ for those around us, why not take a moment and think about what we ourselves want and expect from those we love during the holiday season.
In theory, the holidays are supposed to be about spending time with those we love. Yet for many, this time is riddled with unspoken resentments, and past and present disappointments. While most of us focus on anticipating and avoiding touchy subjects with our families in order to survive the holidays, few of us stop and think about what it is that we actually want and perhaps need, from those we love during these times. Whether it is approval, affection, acceptance or nurturing, we all have certain expectations from those we love during the holidays.
Perhaps being aware of our expectations may lead to realistically matching them to what our loved ones can actually provide. Or it may be that a conscious awareness of our dependency needs can lead us to be more direct in seeking to have those needs met by others. Or it may simply mean that during the holiday season, when we celebrate love, nurturing and kindness to others, we may need to take extra time to accept, nurture and be kind to ourselves.
As we start checking off items on the ‘holiday wish lists’ for those around us, why not take a moment and think about what we ourselves want and expect from those we love during the holiday season.
In theory, the holidays are supposed to be about spending time with those we love. Yet for many, this time is riddled with unspoken resentments, and past and present disappointments. While most of us focus on anticipating and avoiding touchy subjects with our families in order to survive the holidays, few of us stop and think about what it is that we actually want and perhaps need, from those we love during these times. Whether it is approval, affection, acceptance or nurturing, we all have certain expectations from those we love during the holidays.
Perhaps being aware of our expectations may lead to realistically matching them to what our loved ones can actually provide. Or it may be that a conscious awareness of our dependency needs can lead us to be more direct in seeking to have those needs met by others. Or it may simply mean that during the holiday season, when we celebrate love, nurturing and kindness to others, we may need to take extra time to accept, nurture and be kind to ourselves.
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